Finding Yourself After A Breakup

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Hey friends!
I have been mentioning in my previous posts that I’ve been working on taking a bit of a turn with Nest of Bliss to include more ‘lifestyle’ posts. This just allows me to be more expansive with my topics and also allows you to get to know me a bit more – put a face behind the blog so to speak… today is one of those posts! As some of you already know, I made a difficult decision a couple of months ago to end my engagement with my fiancé of four years. This was not an overnight decision (nor should something so life changing ever be!) & was certainly a rough time for me to say the least. When it came to letting family & friends know I decided it would be best for my loved ones to find out through me personally. I did not make any online announcement through my personal social media (which in my opinion would be in bad taste), however, when it came to my blog I knew I would have to say something to explain the very noticeable changes that would occur (not living in the farmhouse any longer and being single wouldn’t exactly be overlooked!). So I wrote about it – & I was floored by the outpour of messages, comments, and support I received through comments, my e-mail, and social media & am so incredibly grateful for the love you sent my way. I can’t thank you enough. Going through this huge life change as a result of everything has been a massive growing experience for me. I’ve had a few people suggest I continue to write about this as well as continue to get into more personal posts, and I think it’s a great idea. This has been a journey on finding myself, and if anything I have to say could help just one person then it is completely worth it to me to share such a personal chapter of my life.

With that being said, this is my advice on finding yourself after a breakup. 🙂

Be open

Being an open book & simply letting yourself feel what you are going through without suppressing negative emotions is huge to discovering what your heart really needs. When you need to cry, cry. Going through emotions is what being human is all about and your body’s way of releasing any built up energy. I was completely and 100% open with the roller coaster of emotions and thoughts that I’d gone through with this breakup with everyone I know. No, that doesn’t always mean tears… I was (and am) open to discussing any thoughts or worries, and also the many positives and things that I am looking forward to. I believe being open is a strength and shows you are comfortable with yourself and your emotions. People have so much to say regarding their own experiences which is so interesting to hear. The one thing I benefited most from being open with people was realizing that I deserved to be happy, even if it meant I had to unfortunately hurt someone to get there. This was hard for me to grasp at first – but after hearing people out – they are right. Everyone deserves happiness and you can’t inhibit your own for the sake someone else, as much as you may care about them.

Looking at the positive

Easier said than done at first – I know… and being a positive thinker does take training of the mind (more posts on this in the future!) but you need to realize what you are gaining with a break up. Yes, what you are gaining. Whether your heart was broken or you were the “heart breaker”, there really is so much to gain and it’s all in how you view the world & your situation. Are you starting over? That in itself is an exciting journey! With each big life change we go through as humans we learn so much about ourselves and we become more comfortable in our own skin. Take this is a learning experience – take the time to get in tune with your own needs, interests, and desires. Try to make a list of what you will earn & gain with this change, big or small. You’ll be surprised what you can come up with – and why focus on the negative anyway? This is your life, you should fully experience it.

Loving yourself

Getting to know yourself allows you to grow and develop your interests. Do what makes your heart happy – take a leap of faith, and learn. View your “weaknesses” as opportunities to work upon! Knowing what makes you you allows you to see yourself as a unique individual in this world and that is something amazing! If there is anyone in your life who doesn’t have your best interests at heart, it’s time to remove those relationships from your life – because, simply put – life is too short. Not everyone is going to like you, so you better learn to like yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. It takes time for some, but when you get to know, embrace, love who you are & surround yourself with those who you love – you are just going to attract more positivity and good vibes in your life.

Make your health a priority

It’s no secret that our emotions can be influenced by our lifestyle. To help kick anxious and sad thoughts to the curb make it a priority to eat well and move more. Get outside, breathe in fresh air, and just get moving. Whether it’s a walk in the park or yoga with friends, it is so important to take care of your body properly to get your emotions in check. Prepare yourself quality meals as often as you can to nourish your body. Don’t get overwhelmed and stressed with this if this isn’t your current lifestyle. Take one step at a time and slowly progress into a better way of life. Repetition creates habit, so just stick with it & soon it will become second nature to look out for your health. Getting to know yourself also means caring for your physical and mental well being… notice how different and good you feel when you start to take a step towards a healthier life!

I know I am really just grazing the surface on a topic that could be discussed for many hours and in so many ways, and I will definitely delve deeper into different topics in the future – but I think the most important thing to remember when finding yourself is to simply listen to your heart and your mind. If you desire or are interested in something new – go for it.. make it happen. Learn about yourself and be confident in your interests, talents, morals and values. When you develop this it’s easy to let things roll off your back and it becomes easier to see how some people click, and how some just don’t! And that’s okay – if everyone was the same the world would be pretty bland, don’t you think? 😉

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Comments

  1. Sheryll & Critters. says:

    I hope that you understand that you will have low times That there will deep pits. You might not get them, but just do not think that you have messed up if you do. Be careful please of not realizing that this is part of life. Lifes road is not always smooth. You might stumble and you might stumble hard….. but be aware of this possible scenario. Okay?? This does not mean that you can not still AGAIN pick up and go on.

    • Oh absolutely! 🙂 and I have. That’s what being open with your emotions is all about. Getting sad is okay and all a part of healing! and I certainly do at times… you just need to remember to pick yourself back up & not dwell or into a downward spiral!

  2. I’m proud of you girl! That must have been the hardest thing in the world (I’ve been through a divorce before and it was not pleasant). I wish I had these tips during that time 😉 I’m looking forward to reading more about your lifestyle posts and whatever you decide to accomplish and share with your readers. You’re very talented.
    Big hugs,
    Jamie

    • It has been an interesting summer to say the least! I have already changed so much as a result of everything that has happened. Splitting assets seemed like the easy part in comparison to the emotional side! This is such a pivotal period of my life & I am figuring out exactly who I am and what I need in my life. Thank you for your words, it means so much!

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